Asking for things: who you're talking to (B1 Vocabulary)

Use Can you with close friends; use Could you or Would you mind with strangers or for a big favor.

Same favor, different people

• Amina: Hiroshi, can you pass the salt?
• Amina: Excuse me, could you pass the salt?
• Amina: Sorry to bother you, would you mind passing the salt?
• Not ""Open the window." to a stranger (sounds like an order)" — say ""Could you open the window?" to a stranger (warm and easy)". It's about who you're talking to, not about sounding as careful as possible.
• Amina needs a pen. Listen for who each line is aimed at.
• Hiroshi, can you pass me a pen? — relaxed: she's talking to a friend she's close to
• Excuse me, could you pass me a pen? — warm and easy: she's talking to someone she doesn't know
• Sorry to bother you, would you mind lending me your pen for the whole class? — softer, with more distance: a bigger favor from someone she doesn't know
• Amina: ______
• Hiroshi: Sure, here you go!
• Hiroshi, can I borrow your pen? — easy and friendly: fits a close friend, and his "Sure, here you go!" matches it
• Would you mind if I borrowed your pen? — a bit more tentative: it isn't wrong, just a touch formal for a close friend, and a stiff fit for such a relaxed reply
• Give me your pen. — an order: too blunt, even with a friend you know well
• Amina: ______
• Stranger: Oh, of course, sorry! Let me move it.
• Excuse me, could you move your bag? — friendly and clear to someone you don't know, and "Oh, of course, sorry!" is just how a stranger answers it
• Move your bag. — an order: too direct for someone you've never met
• Hiroshi, shift your bag! — by name and blunt: that's for a friend, not a stranger on the train
• Mei: ______
• Professor: Let me check the deadlines, but I think we can sort something out.
• Professor, would you mind if I handed in my essay next week? — soft and easy to say no to: fits a big favor, and the professor answers carefully too
• Professor, can I hand in my essay next week? — fine for a small thing, but a little casual for a big ask
• Give me another week for my essay. — an order: far too direct for a big favor

Word	Pronunciation	Example
Can you		Can you pass me that box, Hiroshi?
Could you		Excuse me, could you hold the door for a second?
Would you mind		Would you mind checking these figures before I send them?

Would you mind: two shapes

Use Would you mind + -ing when they do it, and Would you mind if I + past or present (if I open) when you do it.

• Diego: Would you mind waiting here? I'll grab my keys.
• Lars: Sure. Would you mind if I waited inside? It's cold.
• Not ""Would you mind if I closed the door?" (when you want them to close it)" — say ""Would you mind closing the door?" (the -ing form asks them)". if I + past form = you do it; -ing = they do it. Let who does the action pick the shape.
• Try it: Diego: I'm going to the counter anyway. Want anything? Choose the reply that fits. (Would you mind getting me a coffee? / Would you mind if I got a coffee?) Answer: Would you mind getting me a coffee? — Diego is going anyway, so ask him to do it with Would you mind + -ing.
• Try it: Farid: Is that your phone buzzing? The meeting starts in two minutes. Choose the reply that fits. (Sorry. Would you mind if I stepped out for a minute? / Sorry. Would you mind stepping out for a minute?) Answer: Sorry. Would you mind if I stepped out for a minute? — You step out yourself, so ask permission with Would you mind if I + the past form.

What are the common mistakes?

Incorrect	Correct	Why
"Open the window." to a stranger (sounds like an order)	"Could you open the window?" to a stranger (warm and easy)	It's about who you're talking to, not about sounding as careful as possible.
"Would you mind if I closed the door?" (when you want them to close it)	"Would you mind closing the door?" (the -ing form asks them)	if I + past form = you do it; -ing = they do it. Let who does the action pick the shape.